9 Signs Of Getting Discount Through Couple Counseling
We all know catchwords. “If you have to work hard in your relationship, it may not be the right relationship.” I totally disagree. For most people, relationshipsauthenticallyChallenging relationships have their ups and downs, which make people miserable and confused. Especially when no one guides us to send them away or set a positive example.
Of course, if the relationship has many challenges, it is reasonable to doubt it. Unfortunately, our culture describes intimacy as a distorted assumption. One of them is that if you think you need marital therapy, you will make a terrible mistake.
There are many fears, shame and common misconceptions about marital therapy. Sadly, this makes us more confused about how to deal with and accept the challenges inevitably encountered in recent relationships.
Of course, as a therapist, I am also in favor of treatment. But I always think it’s important to ask for help when life brings us challenges that we can’t cope with alone. We go to see a doctor when we are ill. When we want to keep fit, we hire coaches. When our back hurts, we will receive a massage. When we want to decide on our next career development, we will hire an executive coach. So why are so many people still unwilling to get married?
Please understand the misunderstanding of marital therapy in detail and talk about 9 signs. Your relationship suggests that you may need to work with trained experts.
1. You keep arguing
We will start with the obvious. If the conversation with a partner doesn’t turn into a quarrel, it’s time to ask for help. Although couples may quarrel, many couples do not know how to fight successfully. The main objective of the debate is to identify problems, deal with emotions and seek solutions. But couples often fall into a cycle of reaction, defense and blame. Couple therapy can teach you and your spouse how to disperse arguments and communicate effectively. This way you can stay away from harmful behaviors that negatively affect your relationship.
2. You always have the same argument
Every couple has perpetual problems. But most repeated battles are not real battles. In fact, they often happen. Because some of our past events, even if very small, will be triggered by our current experience. Our partners can do things that remind people of being bullied, betrayed or falsely accused in the past. We are actually reacting to our history, not to what is actually happening now. Couple therapy can help you recognize these triggers and help you and your partners get rid of these negative cycles.
3. You are at the center of great changes in life.
Treatment is not just for difficult times! It can also be a place for you and your partner to discuss and explore how to best handle major life changes. Whether it is cohabitation, engagement, marriage, childbirth, or migration, the therapist can predict future changes, prepare for future changes, and work together as a team to achieve common goals.
4. Your sex life has changed a lot
There are many reasons why couples stop having sex. The following is one of the most common reasons I heard from patients.
- We are busy with children/work and have no time
- Our flame disappeared; i am no longer attracted to her/him
- I am waiting for his/her erection; i’m tired of being rejected
- I’m just not that sexy.
- He/she is obsessed with online porn, and I have nothing
- Just like we are friends, there is no sexual feeling between us.
Therapists can understand what makes a relationship lose sexual balance on the surface of a couple and help restore intimacy.
5. You have different views on money
If you have ever quarreled with your spouse about money, you must not be alone. Almost every couple quarrels about money. Economic issues are one of the most common sources of disagreement between couples. Differences about how to spend or save money, You may be worried about not having enough money or feeling out of control in your financial life together. If you seek professional help from a trained therapist, a couple can help you alleviate this topic and reach an agreement on finance.
6. You want something else from your relationship
One of the most difficult parts of a relationship is that when you and your partner disagree on how you want the relationship to work, you will still explore each other and be compatible in many other ways. One of you may want to be monogamous, Another may want me to do a part. Or one side wants to get married and have children, and the other side doesn’t. Some people know what their deal breaker is, but for others, it’s either black or white. A marital therapist can help you determine whether your relationship goals are consistent.
7. Having an affair or an idea
Infidelity is the most important reason for couples to receive treatment. There are many reasons why people cheat, but more often, infidelity is a sign of estrangement. The most common theme I hear is that one or both of them feel lonely, feel in control, fall into a negative pattern, or feel that they don’t get any love and don’t know what to do. If you want to break the boundaries of the relationship, you’d better let your spouse receive treatment with you now, and then deal with the results of the affair.
8. Your spouse wants to receive treatment
Generally speaking, one party is afraid of receiving marital therapy. They said, “If we need treatment, we might as well end the relationship now, because it means that our relationship is doomed!” Or, “Because you have a problem, maybe you should receive your own treatment!” Few couples came to receive treatment, and both parties sincerely wanted to receive treatment. Usually, there is one person who wants to go there at the beginning, which doesn’t matter. The good news is that other spouses agreed, even if they were very suspicious. If your partner asks you to receive treatment, it is a sign of concern and respect. To maintain a healthy and happy relationship, we must make choices. We should put ourselves behind us and act in the best interests of our relationship.
9. Want to break up or divorce
Couple therapy can activate feelings. Sometimes marital therapy can help two people say goodbye to each other in a loving way. Yes, there are also couples who come for treatment to break up. When I tell patients that some feelings are irreversible, they are often surprised. Sadly, couples often wait too long to get the help they need. The longer a couple waits, the more deep-rooted their problems become, which makes them more difficult to cure, and sometimes even impossible to cure. If you and your spouse have persistent problems that cannot be solved by themselves, consider seeking help as soon as possible.