The Dilemma Of American Family’s “Greek Holiday” Shows Why America Is Not Ready For Polygamy

No matter one spouse or twenty spouses, the relationship is not easy. But when parents or friends do not recognize them, it is more difficult.

To judge, a reader recentlyNew York TimesThe social problems section just shows why most parts of the United States are not ready for polygamy. What is the reason? They couldn’t help thinking that it was an inherently immoral act.

The mother, who Americans call “adult child”(30 years old), is very interested. Readers asked whether they had a moral obligation to invite their daughter’s polygamous spouse to a family vacation. Although she really didn’t want to invite

The post said: “My 30-year-old daughter has many relationships with a married man. She takes him home for vacation. Although he is charming, I am very uncomfortable.(This may be because my husband is unfaithful and we are divorced.) Now my daughter tells me that she wants to take this man to Greece this year.”

The post continued: “although it’s a small matter, I don’t want to pay for other women’s husbands. I don’t think this relationship can bring happiness to my daughter. Should my daughter risk not spending a holiday with me to draw a line?”

Ethics Dilemma ExpertNew York TimesAnswer: “I may be a little off topic, but I don’t think the real problem is the cost of traveling in Greece or the infidelity of your ex husband. This is about respecting your adult daughter’s choice. You have replaced her happiness with your concept of happiness. This is common to many parents.(and often well meaning) traps. But it has no effect “.

Facebook’s response to this dilemma is that many readersNew York TimesEither do not like, or do not trust, or do not understand polygamy. One user wrote: “In some places, adultery is still a crime.”

“Unless the law catches up with the newly discovered relationship, you will indeed lead to the reduction of his marriage and family. Such behavior will have serious economic consequences.”

“The result of adultery is not just about your daughter’s happiness.”

Another wrote: “When did you start to replace adultery as a ‘polyandry’? It’s not all right. He’s lying to his wife. You don’t need to use it. And your daughter knows he’s married. That doesn’t mean how good her character is.”

“Set boundaries and stand firm. He is someone else’s husband and she has no moral, moral or legal rights. Your daughter should accept this.”

This is not the end of the matter. More Facebook users said, “Please don’t allow her to behave?”, “Encourage her to have dignity and find her husband”, “Since the boyfriend is a polygamous marriage, he should take his wife and let them pay for it.”

You can’t count it. That’s all. I want to know what his wife will say to him for joining his girlfriend’s family. Mom, I’m with you.

Other Facebook users wrote: “Because he is not a family member, I’m not sure why he was included in the family trip… You can respect that your daughter has a relationship with him, rather than taking a vacation with that man. If you pay for the trip, you don’t need to invite people you don’t want to invite. If your daughter pays for it.” And usually free guests, which is no different. I think what kind of family travel is important to me… Suppose every family is different. ”

Others encourage tolerance: “Yes, although you should understand and respect it, you must always set your boundaries. Tolerance is limited. Every family must find balance. We live in a complex world, feeling that the times are changing, or we must accept everything because of social pressure. It is neither wise nor balanced. It is open.” although it should be the enemy, when it comes to family, personal space, family, etc., the border is very small. Be compassionate. ”

But others learned more about the details. One of them wrote: “It’s not the daughter who asks her mother to pay for her man. It’s just the daughter who wants the man to travel with them. The bigger question is, why does the mother pay for her daughter when she is 30?”

It is also popular for adult children to ignore and pay in their own way. “It’s amazing that he can’t even pay his share. But it again strongly shows that he doesn’t want to show the cost on the credit card bill. I bet his wife doesn’t know anything.”

Well, one Facebook user thought this might be a huge setup.

“I saw that my daughter should know the arrangement of her mother’s idea of” intimate “relationship. She was either testing her mother, testing him, or testing herself. Anyway, I would say positive and invite them to see what would happen.”

Finally, some social media users said to the woman, “Growing up and keeping pace with the times. Your daughter wants to bring her boyfriend, and you can do so economically. Make her happy. As long as it is ethical, it is not wrong to be monogamous.”

“All these baby boomers are shocked by the concept of polygamy…”

This is what you have to do. The acrid moral debate will kick off your Friday.