These Are The Relationship Criteria That You Cannot Compromise (You Can Skip Them).
In my love journey, I haven’t heard such words several times. “You must improve your standards.” After several harmful relationships, I know that it is impossible to improve my relationship standards. I live in an unimaginable low self-worth, a person who has everything I want can care about me. But I realized later that my standard idea was completely distorted. I am ridiculously beautiful. My salary is four times that of me. I am a kayaker who runs five miles a day. I am a social justice activist who gets along well with children and does better in bed. No wonder I also like it. Not everyone says “standard”
Bella Gandhi, a dating and relationship expert and founder of Smart Dating Academy, believes that the standard is about what we will “accept”, as well as people’s common values and goals in the relationship. When you see your own standards as shared values that you want to share with your spouse, it’s easier to understand why the concept of “lowering standards” has become outdated. Standards may also be the way you want to be treated. This is a concept that is completely different from the “high standard” and superficial way that we have always believed
Gandhi explained: “Because of movies, romantic novels, media and other reasons, we were born without a spouse, which appropriately shows that people with difficult relationships are almost dead at this point.” To help, we discussed which standards are important to partners and which will seriously hinder your development.
Meeting with expertsBellagandiDating and Relationship SpecialistGandhi is a dating and relationship expert, speaker and founder of the Smart Dating Academy. This college is a guidance service agency for people to find love.
What relationship standards do you always maintain?
They’re not offensive
This is obvious, but it is important to take it as the standard of what you accept and the values you have. Political views may be more in line with preferences, but the values you have cannot be compromised. Therefore, if you meet someone in the application, they will say sexism, racism, hatred of foreigners or other despicable “believers”, let them know your values, and don’t be afraid to move on until you meet someone you agree with.
Source: Vince Fleming Unsplash
respect
Respecting and treating your people kindly is the cornerstone of any good relationship, but we tend to be stingy with more trivial standards. Gandhi explained: “When we continue to accept other people’s crumbs, we regard them as the whole pie. We don’t even know the difference between the two.” If you start to see the standard as the treatment you expect in your relationship, you will begin to realize how low the standard was in the past.
They want the same thing as you.
You should know what you want and what you are looking for. If you’re not sure, it’s no big deal. But if you are looking for marriage and children, you must be honest and look for the same person. Gandhi said, “At the beginning of the game, confirm whether this person wants to have the same long-term goals as you.” “Otherwise, people will settle down. They will let those who do not want long-term interests settle down. We will spend a lot of time and energy on the wrong people.”
Maybe you are not looking for marriage and children, but I have another plan. Do you want to live in the city for a long time or in the suburbs? Do you want to travel often or explore your own area? Are you spendthrift or more economical? It is important to go into details. Although you and your partner don’t need to agree on everything, if something is important to you, you must explore and confirm it as soon as possible.
They’re willing to take their time
Gandhi suggested, “There’s nothing wrong with whirlwind romance, but after a few dates, you can’t be alone with someone.” In a few dates, you won’t find someone’s danger signal, so you need some time to contact him instead of doing something quickly. Gandhi said, “Our research on cars, houses, communities and schools is far more than that on people. You are dating a representative from the beginning. It takes time to really understand a person’s appearance.”
Gandhi added: “If you want a reliable, good friend, respectful and kind person, you must have more than three dates to be sure.”
Source: Tin Samuel Pexels
What kind of relationship standard to discard
Appearance preferences
Gandhi said that when investigating the ideal type of thousands of women, the first word most women said was “high”. Most people believe that standards and preferences are the same. For example, when you want a tall person, you will like it. Obviously, it is important to be attracted to the person you are dating, but when you are so focused on a particular aspect of someone’s appearance, especially when you want to ignore your own values, you will limit your dating time.
Pets urinate and shut down
We’ve all been there: you’re dating. Some people’s breath smells bad. Or their style is not very good. Maybe they talk too much. When we incorporate such small complaints about someone into our standard, we miss many opportunities, These people may be good partners. How often does your best friend bully you? I will often guess. Just because someone’s clothes, breath or other trivial problems can be solved and drive him away, you will face many failed dates.
