New Appointment? Fifteen Pieces Of Advice Can Help Build Healthy Relationships.

If real life is a romantic comedy, your relationship will become like this. The final meeting will make you close your eyes and let you know.In your soulThey are the first people in “Hello”. Cut into a montage scene, bake bread together(the kitchen is obviously full of flour), and walk hand in hand at sunset. Maybe you should ride a tandem once or twice. Not at all strange. In real life, the development of interpersonal relationship is often not so cinematic. The beginning of love is hard to control, but it will also decide or destroy your romantic life. Here are 15 new love suggestions that you can start from the right perspective(and find out if it’s worth sticking to).

1. Focus on the present rather than the past

It’s natural to bring your fears and negative experiences into a new relationship. After all, this is a survival mechanism that can prevent your heart from breaking again. But it can prevent the long-term fear and insecurity from tearing the heart apart, and it can also prevent the real happiness in the new relationship. For example, if your former spouse was unfaithful, don’t distrust your new spouse just because of your previous relationship. Focus on the unique quality of your new partner. If they are reliable enough so far, you shouldTrust them.

Similarly, the “dating experience” dialogue will eventually become an important topic, but do not rush to participate. In the first few dates, your spouse knows you as well as their likes and dislikes, dreams and personality traits. Before you know their brothers and sisters’ names and where they grew up, you don’t need to explain what was wrong with their relationship on the first date, nor do you need to know their dating experience.

Source: @ missenocha

2. Talk about the future as soon as possible

although we can’t focus on the pastshouldAt least to some extent, we should focus on the future. Of course, before the first day of salad class, you don’t need to ask me how many children I want, but if marriage can’t be negotiated with you, I don’t want to know that they never want to get married after a year of dating. Although it is not always interesting to talk about life goals, religion, marriage, politics, etc., if you naturally start looking at the future, you should at least include spoilers in the dialogue to confirm that they are on the same page. In addition, whether you are looking for a long-term relationship or more free love, you should communicate.

3. Don’t be attracted by the idea of relationship, but by this person

Sometimes, we don’t even realize that our feelings are more interesting than the people we associate with(dating burnout is real), and we want to immerse ourselves in feelings. If you focus on finding such a happy future, you run the risk of putting others in boxes they don’t belong to(or don’t belong to).hope)Or forced spark. You ignore the defect or danger signal. Because your mind has convinced you that this is necessaryLook at the four work shoes, theyNo,only. Are they people who want to spend time with you? If you like their company and want to be with them, whether they are “unique” or not, you are likely to be attracted to them. Not just relationships.

4. Don’t skip sex conversations!

Needless to say, if you don’t want to talk about sexual health with your spouse(including STD examination, medical records, etc.), you are not ready for intimacy(or they may not be the people you should be close to). Discuss whether you like it or not, and what you are comfortable with, while listening to their opinions without judgment. Oh, don’t forget that the intimate “exact time” is different for all couples(go to the “Three Dating Rules” or other nonsense guidelines). Please remember. It is not enough to have one partner ready.

Source: @ kayla_seah

5. Friends who know each other

Since this is a new relationship, you will want to leave it all to yourself. But it’s important to see friends as soon as possible. The way to interact with other crew members can understand the relationship between partners and them. For example, if all the friends of your partner are bad people you can never be together with, you may not know your partner as you think(if they are not bad people themselves, do you know?)

Similarly, having a new partner with a friend can create potentially dangerous signals. Your friends may see things you don’t see, and your spouse may not get along with them as well as you want. If both of you can get along well with each other’s friends, it is to establish mutual friendship. This means that you don’t have to make choices when shopping together or traveling with friends.

6. Don’t have important conversations in the text

SMS is a modern blessing for regularly registering and sending interesting parties to make your spouse laugh at work. But SMS can’t be used for deeper things except making plans or laughing on TickTalk. Talk about each other’s feelings or differences should always be done in person. SMS Not only is it embarrassing to send, but also a lot of information will be lost during the translation process, leading to more misunderstandings. If you think that an argument is about to happen, you will at least be unable to talk on the phone, and you will find that your spouse will discuss it when you discuss it together.

Source: @ thelittletembo

7. Be yourself

OK, so this song sounds too old-fashioned, and I’m sorry to write it. But whenever I start my first date and a new relationship, if it’s 100% me, I won’t waste too much time. I know: you want to be as calm and calm as possible at the beginning. Pretend to watch a horror movie instead of the Hallmark channel, Even if you only listen to Taylor Swift’s first three albums repeatedly, you should also say that you like art music. Even in the leg hair cutting stage before dating(ah, more naive) Confess your likes and dislikes and who you are. This will not only save time and break the heart of the unsuitable person, but also help the suitable person find you.

8. Really happy

Another personal story about you: I can save the beginning of all love. Before the date, I was worried or worried about how my hair or makeup looked, so they didn’t like me very much. I hope they like me, but the beginning of the relationship is so special: the “foam of new relationships” has not yet burst. The honeymoon feeling will last forever. You are smiling.alwaysWhen your heart is in danger, it’s normal that you don’t want to feel afraid or weak. But no matter how terrible the new love is, don’t forget to enjoy it. Pay attention to every small moment, try new things together and have fun.

9. Don’t worry about labels(to some extent)

Bumble.Tinder.Hinge.UnbelievablyIt is puzzling where you are(“say?” “date?” “tangle?” “FWB?” “Wifed up?”). If there are still differences in the scale of your relationship, don’t panic. Different people have different timelines. When they are ready to take every step, different times do not necessarily mean that you are incompatible or that they do not like you.

But, youshouldMake sure you are all interacting with others. You should know that you are in the same position in keeping leisure or looking for serious work.(You should always be open to what you want.) But in addition, the “girlfriend” label does not necessarily mean everything you do in kindergarten. Because it just means “I like you”. Therefore, if they haven’t come up with the word G, don’t worry. Oh, I encountered an embarrassing situation when introducing them. If you don’t know how to introduce them, just call them by their names. There is no need to know what they are to you. If you want to guess, it may cause more confusion.

10. I know that the red flag is not a suggestion(nor will it disappear)

What would you think if you found them lying, they were rude to the waiter, or they said bad things to their friends? This is not a “one-time job”, they will not change. Red flag is a kind of intuition. It tells you the wrong things, so listen to them. Ignoring the danger signs will only prolong the inevitable disappearance of the relationship, making it more difficult for you two to break up in the end. There is no perfect person; you can evaluate your spouse. They may make mistakes. If it’s just a judgment or a mistake, you can make it clear. If this is more “this is wrong” intuition or unforgivable behavior than mistake, then go up the mountain quickly.

Source: @ babybaileymamadrama

11. Separation time

The new love is unbelievably exciting. In fact, this is very exciting. So you can easily become a new couple and reduce the daily life of single life. Maybe you rarely see your friends, or spend less time on your interests and more time with your new partner. Of course, although I always want to be together, being together all the time(giving up my independent and social life) is a good omen for falling into an emotional disaster. Anyway, don’t lose friends or yourself. Don’t send text messages or make phone calls frequently. Act as if your friendship has not changed.(Because it should not be changed!) You shouldn’t look for someone who lives with you. I’m looking for someone to shareYoursLive together.

Stop mentioning your predecessor

In particular, if it is not the person who broke off the past relationship, it is natural to compare the new spouse or new relationship with the old spouse. But remember how we can leave the past.past times? News flash: Your new partner is not your predecessor(thank you!), They don’t want to listen to your predecessor. Of course, in order to get to know each other better, we need to chat about “dating experience”. Otherwise, is it really necessary to mention the ex? although no one thinks they are evaluated by others, comparing your relationship with past experience rather than enjoying the essence is also destructive. To borrow Elsa’s words, let it pass.(Like, really)

13. Relationship is not 50/50, but 100/100

Some of the best relationship suggestions I’ve received are that relationships are not really about compromise or 50/50. Contrary to popular misconceptions, you can’t just contribute what you think is yours. For the sake of happiness, success and long-term relationship, do everything possible to expect the same return. Of course, there will be conflicts(the longer you stay together, the more conflicts there will be), but you should maintain 100% of the relationship. You can’t share the responsibility of a relationship like writing a check on an evening date.

Source: @ stephsterjovski

Communicate your feelings often

The beginning of feelings can lay the foundation for the future, so pay special attention to how to talk with each other and solve problems. If you are unsure of the appropriate communication tools to use in disagreements with your spouse, you can consider talking to a relationship therapist(not too soon!).

In addition to the main designer wardrobe for writers’ salariesProvince and cityAnother mistake: Your friends can’t always be the voice of your relationship. Of course, there should be a strong support system, but when disagreeing with your spouse, you should consider solving problems inwards rather than outwards. Instead of complaining directly to friends, they complain to each other. PS: Your spouse is not a mind reader either on a date night or in a sexual position. Tell them what you want and build the perfect relationship instead of expecting the perfect person.

15. Remember that action is more important than words

Labels are things that everyone has different opinions about, but ultimately you need to know how they feel about you. If they don’t make a consistent plan, it will make you feel special and let you see how they feel about you(justinformYou). When actions are inconsistent with words, confusion will occur, so pay attention to what they are doing. Not to make it clear what they are saying. If they really care about you, you won’t be confused.