What To Do When Marriage Is Lonely
As human beings, we cannot be isolated. We all aspire to build deep and lasting relationships with others. But we know that you may feel lonely in a crowd, even if you sleep in the same bed with someone for several years, you will still feel lonely. Many of us never thought that we would feel lonely in marriage. I hope our spouse can become our lifelong partner, so that we can avoid loneliness. But as time goes by, couples become more and more estranged, feeling isolated and withdrawn.
Loneliness is not just physical closeness, but emotional connection. Dr. Dennis Lenny of Family Life and his wife Barbara said, “You can have sex, but there is no love. You can say, but you don’t communicate. You live together, but you don’t share life.” If you feel lonely in marriage, there are several ways to reconnect with your spouse.
Step 1.
If you hide or conceal your pain, marriage cannot begin to heal. In a relationship, only one person rarely feels lonely. If you feel isolated, your spouse is also likely to be isolated. The first step to reconnect with them, even with small gestures. Open your heart to them, tell them how you feel, and give them the same opportunity. If you hide or conceal your pain, marriage cannot begin to heal.
Forgive the past pain.
Especially if you feel lonely for a long time, your marriage will get hurt more and more. There is nothing more lonely than unforgivable pain and conflict. If you are wronged, you decide to forgive your spouse. If you hurt them, ask for their forgiveness immediately.
Spend time together.
although it seems very simple, sometimes I am so busy that I neglect the time when couples are together, or I am busy with my own life. The less time a couple spend together, the more they feel alienated from each other. It can be solved by date night, going out on date night, night without TV, and occasionally planning weekend vacation.
Make your time precious.
Time together is important, but the quality of time is also important. In order to establish a marriage relationship, husband and wife should consciously treat the time together. When talking with your spouse, put down your mobile phone, be distracted and concentrate on the other person. Find ways to connect with common experiences. In other words, you should go for a walk, take care of yourself, participate in concerts or sports competitions, and play board games or cards together. Please encourage and praise your spouse. Make your moments together important.
Give priority to physical closeness.
It’s not just sexual intimacy. Although this is certainly an important part of marital intimacy, it refers to some small things that can be ignored, such as holding hands or leaning on the sofa. The key to restoring physical contact is to start from an early age. Sit close to each other, massage the neck and kiss. Physical closeness naturally leads to emotional closeness.
Don’t be afraid to ask for help.
Asking for outside opinions about your marriage may frighten many people, but almost every couple can benefit from marriage counseling. Looking at the problem from the outside is very helpful for you and your spouse. Read my post to confirm whether you need consultation, look for suggestions, and determine whether you should find the best consultant for you.
You may feel lonely in marriage, but you are not lonely in the struggle of marital intimacy. We have all experienced loneliness in life, but you don’t have to feel lonely in marriage.