Level 5 Communication Required For Marriage
Almost every time Anhai and I made a speech at the wedding ceremony, I would chat. Since the early days of our marriage, we have experienced long-term communication failures. The result of failure is explosion. I left home, not sure when I would be back. Because we can’t communicate, I can’t accept it, so I can’t be there. Fortunately, we have close friends who promised not to leave until they came to our apartment to interfere. When I came home, I started healthy communication and began the process of working together.
The goal of communication is to be as deep as possible.
I learned about the five stages of communication and discovered where we were in trouble. The goal of communication is to be as deep as possible. This will lead to a stronger sense of connection and intimacy. The following are the five levels of communication.
5. Joint dialogue.
This is the lowest level. At this level, you really don’t share anything. These are your conversations with who, even strangers. For example, “How are you?” There is no depth in the “good weather today” level, but there is a location.
4. Evening news.
You share your understanding of something. Your day, what happened with the children, etc. Your talk is similar to the evening news, mainly reporting the facts. Your conversation is beyond the scope of ordinary people. This gives you something to say, but you can’t be here. One example is to share the work of the day, how the children did it, what they ate at night, or what someone shared on Facebook. This is where we spend a lot of time communicating. We will go beyond ordinary communication, but not too much.
3. Be cautious and open.
You carefully share your views, thoughts, and judgments. You disclosed some, but not all. When sharing, if you carefully observe your spouse and feel doubt or rejection, you can give up the dialogue, end the dialogue and eliminate superficial opportunities. You can mention that you want to spend more time playing golf or fishing with young people, want to spend the next holiday with your family, or the big holiday you are discussing may not be the best thing right now. This is where we are in trouble. It seems that we can’t get out of the predicament. Due to the influence of the past, we do not want to take any risks or just want to stay in a comfortable place.
2. High risk/high return talks.
Now you’ve done it. You will hurt your feelings if you expose yourself to this depth. But you have to. If not, your marriage will not increase. This is where you share yourself, your spouse, your marriage, or your life. Your wife may disagree or hurt you. This may include the intention to educate children in other ways, or it may be because the budget is insufficient and the family faces financial difficulties.
1. The truth in the love story.
This is where you are completely open and honest with your wife. Completely transparent. Share who you really are. This means truly sharing the hearts of doubt, fear, uneasiness, and struggle. This means that you share your frustrations, worries and injuries to your wife with love. You can now share anything with your wife. If she has developed some unhealthy habits, you can honestly share them with her without being blamed. If you are interested in the way you work or your marriage, you can talk to her. You trust her, she believes that you care about each other’s best interests, and you will be committed to solving some problems. To help you start this in-depth conversation, download the Q&U application and ask a few questions.
To reach the first level, you must build deep trust, commitment and friendship. All in-depth communication can make you do this. The first question is: What is the current level of communication?
Pay attention to your communication level in every conversation. Then consciously go deeper. As with weight lifting, start with light weight, then increase weight, and finally have the power to lift weight, or in this case, communicate at the first level in marriage.
The question of solidarity
Get together with your wife and ask, “Do you think we communicate well?”