I Want To Tell Myself In 11 Bad Relationships.
We’ve all experienced this relationship. Everyone except ourselves knows that this relationship is wrong for us. The villain disguised as Prince Charming is like an endless roller coaster you can’t jump on. The first step in getting rid of a bad relationship is to recognize that it is not good and decide whether it can(or is worth saving). Here are the things I want to tell myself in that bad relationship. Maybe you want to tell yourself.
Being with the wrong person is more lonely than being alone.
Your main reason isNot yetThis bad relationship may be due to the L word. No, I don’t like being alone. Perhaps the most terrible part of experiencing separation is to admit that we are no longer a part of anything. We are just one person now. I know you look terrible, I know you say you are old-fashioned.No,Because of your friend/your mother/your dog. This is different, I know this. But when you sit in the restaurant and eat the food you don’t like, you will feel the person who belittles, irritates or torments you.veryMore lonely than watching.Real Housewives in Salt Lake CityA person at home, wrapped in a dream blanket barefoot, eating Indian food.
They don’t deserve your time unless they laugh more than they make you angry.
Now, there is a metaphor: all your feelings are like a piggy bank. All the good things someone does for you and all the good feelings they give you are a penny. And all the bad feelings they give you are a penny. Now even the most productive relationships can bring moments of sadness, disappointment, anger, and boredom. Happy couples quarrel. Even the best people can drive you crazy, but you should always laugh, laugh, and be happy rather than quarrel, cry, and be sad. If you spend so much time and energy in your relationship, you’d better fill your piggy bank.
3. The doubt is over.
Everything you learned from all these storiesbachelorYou may want to say something else, but once you realize that this person is not the right person for you, they are not worth your time or love. To avoid suffering, the first major doubt or bad feeling in your heart should be the end, not the beginning of the end.
4. “No” is not a dirty word.
In fact, this is one of the most important relational words. Compromise and resonance are very important, but it is also important to respect each other’s wishes and requirements. Communicating what you don’t want should be as simple as saying “yes”. If not, this person will not respect you or care about you as they say.
5. If you think you can’t live forever, I will.
First of all, I say this to affirm your dramatic behavior. To experience bad love, or even worse breakup, you need to sink seriously. You have to dramatize it. Ben and Jerry come out of the bathtub and get up.Notebook computerThen send a text message to your friend to make him worry about your reason. For example: “I’m fine, everything is fine.”
I like dramatic things. In fact, you will soon tire of yourself. You will realize that this may not be the end of the universe. Cheer up and turn off Netflix. You won’t feel that you can’t overcome it anymore. When I realized youSoonForget it, that’s what you should do.
6. Replace “if” and “after”
When we break up or experience a bad relationship, we always set rules for ourselves to confirm what we know is hurting us. We say, “If I miss them, I will call them.” Or “If they say something nice to me today, I will be with them.” Or, worst of all, “If I feel lonely, I will invite them.” Pay attention to the rules you give yourself, Change them by changing your behavior. If I miss them, I will run. Or “Even if they say good things to me today, they can’t offset the bad things.”
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7. Don’t mistake love.
We often confuse love with many other feelings. Comfort, addiction and infatuation are often misunderstood as the general feelings of love. Poisoning and love are similar in neurochemistry. Studies have shown that when romantic partners see each other, the same brain regions are activated as when cocaine addicts crave cocaine. The difference between true addiction and just addiction is that healthy love has respect, trust and commitment. If you are only addicted to one person, you will reach the “climax” at all costs.
Similarly, the difference between love for comfort and love for comfort is security. With comfortable love, you can feel safe and trust no matter what happens. If you are in a relationship for comfort, rather than always with them, you will feel uncomfortable because you lack trust in them or the relationship. Understand what love isin factIt looks similar. Don’t think of anything else.
8. Always listen to Leo.
Well, although Lizzie may not be around in the last terrible love, I hope she is. After all the melancholy and tumbling(or between all the explosions of self shame), turn off Celine Dion, improve Lizzo, any music that makes people feel confident. When you really love yourself, when you really love yourself, you will no longer worry about loneliness and start to get excited.
9. Accept your mistakes.
Cognitive dissonance is a term that refers to conflicting attitudes, beliefs or behaviors in psychology. This is like denying yourself by proving that you are right when you are actually wrong; when your beliefs run counter to your behavior or new information, you will feel uncomfortable.
This is why we are so loyal to the groups we meet(the vile group of girls in the school or the prank of the sorority). Why do smokers insist on smoking without killing them? Even if there is scientific evidence to prove this, why do we want to get rid of a bad relationship? First, we should admit that you made the mistake of maintaining a bad relationship. Recognize the positive role played in maintaining the relationship and discard the sense of self blame.
10. Trying to alienate someone’s feelings is often more painful.
I am wrong with compassion. As we all know, I introduce myself into life in order not to hurt others. But trying to forgive others’ feelings can make your life worse. You should know that the more dishonest you are, the more harm you will do to both people. Even out of kindness, you should pretend to be emotional. Also, don’t use the “not you, but me” method(when did you do that?Long agoWork?). Finally, if you know that you are insufficient, you will move forward faster.
11. Read your future stories. It will let you know.
although you don’t know what this is, at some point in the future, you will review this relationship and this parting, and then find out “Oh, why did this happen?” Love should not be an emotional roller coaster of romantic comedy. We believe that this is actually a guarantee of stability and a decision to spend your life with someone who shows your best. We have to kiss a lot of frogs to find our soul mates(sometimes frogs pretend to be princes), but one day we will be grateful for the heartbreak we experienced with these frogs. Because if there is no frog, there will be no happy future.