I Gave My Appointment Papers To My Friends.
Do you think you are looking for all the right things in all the wrong places? This is how I feel about love.
I am 32 years old and single. Maybe you saw my article here. About my feelings. Some surprising, some(maybe more) really hard.
Surprisingly, there is complete freedom here. I do not share the remote control; i go where I want to go. I can choose.
But the real difficulty is the paradox of choice. Unlimited choices seem to create pressure to make the “right” decision. Without “your people”, unless it takes a long time, there will be unexplained loneliness. Of course, the human desire for contact, physical and emotional desire, as well as connection, is the most deep-rooted friendship and mother’s embrace can not be replaced.
I have been single for most of my adult life, and I can’t help reflecting and thinking. “What’s wrong with me? What hinders me from finding the love and companionship I desire?”
In middle school, high school, university and even primary school, I always like to break down and flirt easily. I would imagine what I would be like if he liked me.
But the reward I get is
“although you are really cute…”“You are too young…”“I really like your best friend…”
My young self confidently overcame this “rejection”, and I told people how I felt without fear. I even remember asking a boy to dance in the eighth grade. Yes, I was rejected.
In college, I met a person who really liked me. They really not only like me, but also love me. We are the best friends and best partners, both good and bad, and we have experienced a lot together.
After graduating from college, we broke up due to our commitment of about four years. This is not only difficult, but also heartbreaking. This is the kind of sadness that feels empty. It’s like a loss. If you have experienced such a parting, I believe many of you have. You know how sad it is to lose someone you think you can spend your life with. The man who just caught you.
I know now 23 Silver.thereforeI’m still young. I have a lot of life to go through before I become a good partner. But at the moment and in a few years after recovery, I felt that I had lost sight.
At the age of 23, I am full of enthusiasm and vitality here and have entered the single life of the “real world”. I think I am ready to integrate into it. Match, eHarmony, etc. Com website is becoming more and more powerful. Tinder connects us, and Bumble helps us feel like empowered women.
In this game, I have a good date eight years later. A flower date, an incredible dinner, and other details we don’t need to discuss here – if you know what I mean.
I have also encountered very strange things. For example, tell me that his only disadvantage is: “For ordinary people, he is good at robots, but he knows he can do better.” No, he is not joking. He proved it. I had a very bad experience, and finally shed tears because of unnecessary pressure and uneasiness about myself.
I wish I could count my dates. But it may take up the rest of my time to write this article. I don’t think I’m ready to fall in love in the first few years of dating. But in the past 3 to 4 years, this is what I really want. Although I said that I wanted to be emotionally attached, I am now… single.
Like most people, my emotional burden is likely to prevent me from seeing him. Fear and expectation for the future may lack the real will that people see. But I also think the way we date today is a little different. The way we love each other.
Basically, we can date in our own comfortable bed. Although the mobile phone was dangerous at night, I still sat there and scrolled through four different applications. If you are too lazy to go out every night like me, that’s great. If you are the same as me, and the people you like are based on their feelings, that would be terrible.
I think the elements of interpersonal relationship are insufficient. It is artificial to evaluate a person according to their carefully planned “best” personal deficit data. Day after night, week after week, like a blind date. It’s exhausting.
One night, I sat down with my married friends and drank too much Sansel. Of course, we began to talk about how tired I was and dating.
She: Show me your head.
I: conversation
She: No, I need better photos.
I: “Whatever you want.”
She: “Really?”
I: “Yes, I don’t care. Please wipe it.”
She: Settle with card. Oh, he is very sexy and persistent. You should date him. This is your soul mate.
ah The bulb is instantaneous.
What if I have a ghostwriter in my appointment file? People who always know me better than I do, or at least remove some judgments from my cards.
When we talked about it, the idea became more and more interesting. Because I am easily attracted by the wrong people. Usually their love is different from mine. I like men who do not live in the same city(Yaxing, country) with me. They really don’t want feelings. They are objectively attractiveScience after happiness.
Maybe this is self destruction, or more open, so that my behavior is consistent with my reality, needs, desires, and values.
Attracted by the “wrong” people, I lost my intuition about men. I believe in my intuition. Have confidence in many things. Work, friends, know what you like. But when it comes to men, I lose what I like, what I like, and the ability to know someone regardless of the future. It’s terrible.
Don’t think too much about “you”. Things will happen with the tide. You may think, “Don’t put too much pressure on yourself.” I understand. I fully understand your background. But when you date in your mind for so long and don’t believe in yourself, dating becomes more and more difficult.
So we decided to do so. I asked this friend and my best pair of friends to visit my Xingge resume.
The working principle is as follows: They have full access rights. They can like, swipe their cards, change my profile, and start chatting with men. Whenever they agree with someone, they tell me that they will give me a number at the meeting as soon as they start talking.
Really, the only rule is that they should really respect them and talk to them as I do.
No, I didn’t fall in love or meet my soul mate. Don’t you think it’s amazing!? But I learned a lot.
It’s true
When you meet someone in the dating application at the end of the day, you meet someone in the dating application. One day, this will be considered “old-fashioned”. I have accepted the fact that no matter how you rotate, it is essentially like a blind date. This is good. It might even be fun.(If you like.)
Reduce stress and expectations.
It doesn’t matter who cleans well, so it’s much easier to go out on a date. I didn’t think too much, but I ended up having more fun. Sometimes I feel busy with my work, friends, podcasts and life. Sitting on the screen will be pushed aside, which makes me like a person in favor.
I had a major facelift on my resume.
My friend updated my photos. They think these photos give me a more honest side. Although the photos I chose are lovely, I think your friends can often see more beauty than yourself.
The introduction becomes more interesting and witty. I always answer questions frankly, but I am angry with all applications and don’t want to spend time setting up personal information. My answer is absurd.
Next time you edit your resume, have a drink and smile with your friends.
Slide right again
There are many good, lovely, interesting and handsome guys outside. You won’t learn a lot from several pictures of the application, and you won’t feel that way. I want to show off my best, but I feel strange. So I can only imagine how strange it would be for men to create perfect personal images. So you try, slide right and go out. How are you feeling? You may be surprised by yourself.
Understanding others takes time
Ah! Yes, of course. I know, but I, maybe you are also looking forward to seeing someone, which will feel like BAM! Was loved by everyone Smithton Cat. Puppy love. But this is not reality. It takes time to know someone and love their best and worst qualities. Don’t turn someone down just because you’re in a bad mood on your first date. If you are a magical pursuer and have never experienced other types of love like me, this is a difficult choice, but I think it is worth it.
get out!
If I want to fall in love, I must go out and have as many good and bad dates as possible. Although few people think they are “him”, every time I meet a new person, I will have the opportunity to stimulate my intuition and know what I like and hate.
I have a lot to do
I haven’t been in love for a long time. To figure out what good feelings mean to me, we need to work harder. I also realized that there was still a lot to do. Trust, commitment and weakness are needed. I want to do it. I think I’m ready.
Overcoming this thing, my own thing, and the beliefs and obstacles that limit me, so that I can not get what I said I want, will be the difference between a successful relationship and maintaining the status quo.
Read: Why don’t I text my date
Married/Prospective husband likes online dating.
It’s fun to sit down with my married and loyal friends and browse my profile. It can help to consolidate the relationship with them to a certain extent. When we did this project, we laughed and I cried. We had a good time. They haven’t dated online before, so I think it will help them better understand my experience and create more background for my thoughts and feelings. We will talk about it in the upcoming podcast.
It’s fun to do this with my friends, and it’s going on. All the stories about our dates and relationships are unique. It’s easy to compare what you and others have experienced in them. Although learning to accommodate our own needs, stories and processes is a challenge, I believe that when we do, we can build more meaningful and sustainable relationships. I am in the process now, and my love life is the same, but I am very happy about what will happen next.