You Are The Six Interdependent Red Flags… What Should You Do Next

A healthy relationship means that two people do not love each other, but grow together. The purpose of this connection is to find people who are suitable for your personality, but if you are worried about the end of the relationship and sacrifice your beliefs, you will be difficult to follow this concept.

Many of us have experienced feelings and felt uncomfortable, but ignoring ourselves is an interdependent toxic relationship.

What does interdependence mean?

If you are in an interdependent relationship, you will find that your self-worth and sense of purpose are based on your spouse’s identification. When your life revolves around your spouse, you will enter the cycle of loss of function, constantly put his or her happiness on top of your own, and sacrifice yourself for the happiness of others(but get little return).

To be sure, to some extent, our life is consistent with that of our spouse, but it is wrong to assume that we must give up ourselves and adapt to what others want us to be. Read more, find six interdependent danger signs, and understand what you can do to stop living with others and start your own life journey.

1. Cannot refuse spouse

Whether your spouse asks you to do his or her work during the break or orders his or her new mobile phone during lunch, your answer is yes, and your personal itinerary has also been affected. Compromise in your relationship, but don’t give up everything in your life to meet your partner’s wishes. By constantly putting others’ requirements more important than your own, you are improving your spouse’s life at the cost of reducing his or her quality and significance.

What to do:

  • Being aware of unselfishness and wanting to see your happy spouse won’t make you happy.
  • Find your limits and stick to them
  • Make daily work list and promise to complete the work
  • Be honest – let your spouse know that you are now focused on your life. You may not be able to do everything you do for him or her.

2. You will feel constantly uneasy

Anxiety – This is a general statement that requires seeking approval for people who are not you. But how can you not feel this discouraging feeling? When your spouse shows positive reactions, letting others control how they feel about themselves is a relaxing round-trip pattern. When you realize that he or she is dissatisfied, he or she feels extreme fear.

In addition to wanting to know if you are good enough(and walk on the eggshell with your hopes), you are likely to be confused about what you want. Because you are too focused on your spouse’s requirements. Although the interpersonal relationship has ups and downs, their overall purpose is to strengthen your value, rather than make you doubt it.

What to do:

  • Step back and identify the source of this anxiety
  • Tell your lover how you feel
  • Really consider your relationship and decide whether it is worth saving(is anxiety self driven or is your spouse pressuring you?)
  • Be busy with your responsibilities in life
  • Recognize when the uneasiness will disappear and filter out negative thoughts

3. You want to change yourself to meet your spouse’s expectations

As you continue to try to please your spouse through action, you may need to develop the habit of satisfying your spouse through personal adjustment. Maybe both are pious. But you are people who have changed the religion that brings you closer to your partner. Therefore, moral sacrifice like this is the culprit that you can’t control your life. When you surround others, it is difficult to grasp your reality.

although it is good to be open to your spouse’s interests and hobbies, there is no need to change your beliefs about them. In general, making you different from your spouse is not a sign that you should change, but the reason why he or she is attracted to you.

What to do:

  • Understand your beliefs and prioritize
  • Stick to your morality, and those who love you will never let you give them up.
  • Differentiate who you are and change your preferences
  • Ask friends and relatives for advice.

4. You spend all your leisure time on your spouse

The time you spend on work in a day has been allocated to your partner, and your leisure time is no different. I understand that you want to spend time with your lover, but if this person represents the source of your confusion, it will be harmful.

If you are already describing the habits of an interdependent spouse, you will naturally regard your significant other as the center of attention, and spending all your time on him or her will only encourage this behavior. After all, you are your own person. You should focus only on your spouse and yourself in a healthy and balanced relationship.

What to do:

  • Make a plan with your partner in advance, and then complete it with them.
  • Check in with friends at designated times of the day
  • Participate in new interests(register in these courses)
  • Develop the common sense of unplugging the plug and having time for your own activities

5. No matter what the situation is, you are very happy

If your spouse blames you for something completely out of your control, you will apologize and swallow what you really want to say. This is not important. It’s OK for your family to mention his or her demeaning attitude at dinner. Your partner is having a bad time at work. Your list of reasons for your spouse’s inappropriate behavior is as long and as wide as the smile on your face when you speak.

although it is a positive trait that you sometimes ignore your true feelings, the powerlessness in your stomach and mind is attributed to this ability. All emotions have negative emotions, but pretend you don’t have enough reaction to think about why.

What to do:

  • Communicate your feelings with your spouse
  • Examine yourself and find out where the requirements for pleasing others come from
  • Please accept the fact that you don’t have to be happy all the time – you are human, and there is nothing wrong with that.

6. You feel trapped

At some moment in your relationship, you will surely have the idea of leaving your mind. It’s as fast as being afraid of being alone. From never wanting to start from scratch to not wanting to disappoint your spouse, your reasons for staying in this relationship revolve around the idea that being with someone is better than not being with anyone.

It is terrible to take an unknown step, but it is even more terrible to live in a circle created by others. Our greatest moment comes from our boldest decision. Your life is destined to be dominated by you. Because you are the one who promises never to leave.

What to do:

  • List priorities and find the position of this relationship in the list
  • Discover potential problems why you feel trapped
  • If your ideas are difficult to organize, please seek professional help.
  • Discuss your feelings with your spouse

This article was first published on December 17, 2017.