Method Of Debate (In A Healthy Way)

If you are like me, the word “conflict resolution” will put your soul in fear. In the process of growing up, rather than talking about our own problems, we should bury our emotions in the well and never see or hear again.

Unfortunately, I am also one of those who hold grudges(if not so melancholy, it will be a real talent), and I will also suppress all negative emotions… Well, let’s say this is not the most healthy way of life.

Learn to input my decisions and debates, or “the voice of the professor” for successful conflict resolution. Obviously, I can’t be alone in this field, so I consulted my(very wise) sister-in-law Amy. She actually used conflict resolution in real life… and then talked about it alive. Transactions include:

1. Select your battle

Conflict resolution is not about complaining about anything that has the guts to destroy your universe. You’ll drive yourself crazy. Deal with some unforgettable things in this way. Four days later, we also had a bitter quarrel, a crying quarrel, and three weeks later, a sarcastic irony.

It is also important to recognize the position of others in their lives. If your friend’s father just had a heart attack, now is not the time to hurt the person she said. She is not fit to hear such words. Part of being a good friend – as a good price to pay for conflict resolution – is recognizing this.

Say to yourself, “Is it worth it?” If the answer is no, as Amy said, “Forgive them anonymously and move forward.”

2. Write everything on paper

Grasp it with your spiral shackles and solid rain(the keyboard can also be used), and discharge everything you feel into space. Amy said “know yourself”. The key is to understand why something bothers you, why the situation is strange or strange, and why you have such a reaction. It allows you to handle your thoughts and feelings according to your own conditions and timelines.

3. Dialogue with trusted third parties

Don’t participate in this situation(ideal). Find a person who doesn’t know each other and tell him the whole story… No editing is required. Instead of telling you what you want to hear, ask someone to call you. It is important to extricate oneself from the situation. Because explaining everything clearly can alleviate the problem. If you listen to this sentence loudly, you may try your best. “Oh, it’s not as important as you think.” Then you can laugh like a damn boss.

Otherwise, it is still important to talk about what happened before contacting the actual parties(or people) in the conflict. This will help you feel safer, more focused, and more calm.

4. Start contacting conflict related personnel

Amy suggested that it was better to complete the work by SMS or email. Keep sweet for a short time, don’t show your soul. Otherwise, it will fall into a word war. This is definitely not good. But the important thing is to give the other party a surprise(simply say: “Hey, can we meet and talk?” So you won’t tell them in other social activities: “You hurt me.” Deceive their eyes.

5. Dialogue

This is a difficult thing(but it is necessary!). I know, I know, and it also makes me tremble. But please think of another option to let the hatred deteriorate until it hurts the whole friendship in a few weeks or months. Yes, it is not ideal.

Meet at a place where you can do something with your hands.(Cafe is a good neutral place.) Because for whatever reason, you can always create this situation more easily. Describe the situation from your perspective and enter it. Amy’s suggestion? Don’t be too flashy or descriptive. You will eventually fill the embarrassing space with words you don’t want to say, which will make everything come alive again.

6. Listen to the other party’s opinions

Politely- Don’t hang up! Let them explain their situation as if you had a chance to explain yours.

In the best case, the other party is not defensive and provides instructions to soothe the wound. Most conflicts are just misunderstandings of one or both parties. Pat yourself on the back. Your conflict resolution was successful. You and your friends can continue your happy life now.

In the worst case, the other person will not confirm your doubts, provide other explanations or show understanding. What are you doing here? Keep calm and try not to be defensive.(It doesn’t help, seriously.) “Neat” for them Know that you don’t need to provide solutions, nor agree with their words while ignoring their feelings, as long as you agree or disagree to end the dialogue. At least the boundaries have been determined now, and I know this is an area that everyone will not agree with. This is the future development of your relationship This depends on assessing whether the area is sufficient or important enough to have an impact.

7. Continue your life

The conflict has been resolved, or agreed or disagreed – in any case, it is time to move on. You are sincere with each other. This is something to be proud of. It is a nervous and difficult thing to treat your feelings sincerely and open your heart to others when they hurt you. But you did it! Do some self-management, eat some ice cream and relax. Not inferior

How do you argue? Do you think conflict resolution is helpful? Let us know in the next comment!