How To Love A Mother In Her 20S

The mother daughter relationship is typically unbalanced. If you’re like me, your teenage years are full of screaming matches, slamming doors, and tears. In college, my mother wanted to persist, but when she ran away to find herself, things might become more complicated.(If you haven’t seen the ladybird yet, help yourself and line up right away.)

Since we no longer need them, we can also make the relationship with our parents disappear in adulthood. For me, growing up and moving means that this relationship is developing in many painful but beautiful ways. Although I have been wrong many times, I taught me about this extremely important relationship in my 20s. Next, I learned something that will help me love my mother.

Take her advice

My house, my rules.

How many of us have heard this sentence again and again? You may live in your own place now, but sometimes she seems to want to tell you how to live. When I called my mother, she soon began to say, “What you need to do is……”(anything you hear can fill the gap). At first, this sentence always indicates the beginning of the battle. I would be uneasy that she still told me what to do. She would reply that she just wanted to help me. Maybe this kind of communication sounds familiar.

But as an adult, there is a beautiful place here. You can choose to follow her advice or forget it. As a teenager, you will feel nervous. Because you usually have no choice but to do what others tell you. Once I realized that I could elegantly reject my mother’s suggestion, it completely changed the way we talked.

Listening to her advice doesn’t mean that I follow all her requirements. This only means that I will respond in a new way.

Now, when my mother gives me advice, I try to treat her like a colleague or friend. When your boss lists your ways to improve your work, can you imagine what will happen when you quarrel with them? I take the liberty to think that your relationship with your mother is more important than that of your boss. Maybe your response to the uninvited guests’ suggestions will be helpful. Sometimes this is really good.

Source: Saranoel Vankov “Ordinary Girl”

Not only your mother, I know her as a person.

From the moment you were born, the relationship between you and your mother was what she gave you and what you accepted. For most of your life, she may be a person who packs lunch and washes clothes, so it is difficult to regard your mother as someone else. But as a mother, it is equally important. It’s just a part of her life.

Your mother can also be a sister, daughter, wife, artist, boss, thinker, and a dynamic and complete world. Because she is a person worth knowing. When you try to take time to understand all aspects of your mother’s life, it shows that you are willing to invest in the relationship. It’s not just how she serves you. You may even be surprised at what you don’t know about her.

Find your equal way.

My mother and I both work in the education department. Since I found a job, it surprised me. It connected us together. When I came home, I always dragged the wine chair to the counter while she was cooking. We exchange jokes and class suggestions.(You may even complain.)

Sharing this common ground can relieve the pressure of hierarchy. She doesn’t think she has to be my role model. I don’t have to feel like a subordinate.

Even if there is no such career as mother, it is helpful to find similarities. This can divert attention from completely different places. Whether you love sports, arts and crafts together, or love books you both like together, enjoying your common ground can narrow the gap and help you feel more equal.

Source: @ themattejames

Accept the fact that she may not have got you.

I can’t advise you in some cases. Sometimes your mother may strongly disagree with your career choice, who to date, and how you view the world. But if your mother and I are similar, I think she will love you very much.

If your mother is not completely satisfied with what you have done in life, it does not mean that there is something wrong with your relationship; it can actually become a symbol of its strength. It’s much easier to love someone we always recognize; when you live a completely different life from your mother’s, the real test will come.

The most loved ones are those who have the ability to say, “I love you, although I can’t understand you now.” So although we are trying our best to communicate, if there is friction, please do not worry. It always makes a difference. It doesn’t matter.

Remember, you can only control yourself.

One thing my mother told me recently made me cry. “You’re teaching me too.” That’s important.

I wish I could say I was the price of the relationship. Then one person restored my relationship. But the fact is not so. Half of the reason why I am so close to my mother now is that she also wants to work hard for it.

All types of relationships are bidirectional, and you can only control yourself; your mother should also hope for change. She should admit what she did wrong, treat her wounds where she was injured, and protect herself when you were bad to her.

Don’t think of this list as a list of detailed methods you can change. Then mother will love you more. I hope every girl can regard her mother as her best friend. But this is not true. If your mother is not in the picture, sometimes this kind of love comes from a mentor, colleague, teacher or sister. Whether you are a biological mother or other mothers, please remember that you are completely suitable for this unconditional love from the first day.

As adults, we have spent a lot of time in the relationship with friends, partners and colleagues. But please remember that it is equally important to improve the mother daughter relationship. It teaches us how to love in conflict, how to show mercy and how to maintain firm commitment.

In general, learning to love your mother well in adulthood may be the key to love each other.