How To Keep Healthy As A Married Couple

Frankly: Even if you find a soul mate, you won’t stop arguing. The longer you stay together, the more uncomfortable they are driving. The fact that you are not punctual also makes them angry. You will constantly argue about what to eat for dinner or watch a movie, and even cause greater differences in grief, calculation, family composition and other issues. Events that test relationships such as the death of a loved one or financial difficulties are likely to occur in life.

Yes, all couples can argue. But this ismodeThey think it determines whether their relationship will last a lifetime and whether they will be happy for a lifetime(there is a big difference). Disagreements, yes, even quarrels are not necessarily painful or negative. The happiest relationship is not to escape or fear differences, but to use differences to narrow the relationship. Here’s how to fight with partners healthily and use differences to strengthen relationships:

Make demands instead of complaints

If you don’t get what you want in this relationship(but your spouse loves you and treats you well), you probably don’t ask for it in the right way. Let your spouse feel that you have the ability to please them, rather than let them feel that you did not please them, please tell them what to do.

I’m not saying absolutelyabsolutelyHelp pick up things around the house. OralwaysPay more attention to mobile phones than me “),” I’m a bit burdened, can you help me tidy up my house today? “Also,” I would feel very special if we could not talk on the phone tonight. “We often underestimate that our partners do not know what will satisfy us and what will satisfy us.

Acknowledge your spouse’s point of view

In the happiest relationship, both are listened to and recognized. This is not because they do not argue, but because they know how to make the other party listen when arguing. Answer everything your spouse says, not argue your point of view. Saying “I’m sorry you were hurt” and “My intention never made you sad” is a good way to acknowledge and care about your spouse’s feelings, even if you don’t agree with them. You can argue who is right and who is wrong. Until you all turn blue(I think we have all LTRs!), But in the final analysis, feelings are more important than facts when solving relationship problems.

Don’t run away from differences

Couples who have been in marriage for a long time cannot avoid quarrels, nor can they hide some trivial matters. Instead of procrastinating, develop the habit of asking big and terrible questions quickly, and remember that all bad feelings or disagreements should be resolved. Communicate your feelings with your spouse and listen as they communicate with you. When you know that your spouse will not say trivial things, but will have more arguments or difficult questions, make mutual inspection a priority. Say to each other every evening or weekend: “What do you think of our relationship today?” And, “What can I do to improve this relationship?”

Take turns talking

Arguable couples have mastered the art of compromise. Useful dialogue will include listening and responding. A fruitless battle would involve one person continuing to speak, or both, without answering the other. Interruption means that you listen to understand, not to understand. When your spouse has finished speaking, respond to what they say before coming up with a new idea. Don’t talk too long without giving your spouse a chance to answer. Ask lots of questions.

Stay curious about the differences that have arisen again

Technically, quarrels should be resolved after you quarrel, but this may not be the case. There is usually one thing that couples quarrel the most, even once a day or a week. Pay attention to the recurring argument and look for any patterns in the argument. When coming home from work, is it more annoying to quarrel frequently for the participation of your spouse and family, or your spouse can’t install the dishwasher? In conclusion, it is necessary to find a way to completely resolve the dispute pattern and keep the dispute as it is(that is, do not mention the issues that have been discussed in the past).

Do not add labels

No matter how angry you are, we don’t know how angry we are, but we should refrain from the urge to vent our anger in a speech. Think carefully about every word you say, so you won’t say anything you really don’t want to say. Don’t label their behavior bad or wrong. Instead, you just need to explain why specific behaviors hurt you, and why your past or priorities make you care about specific behaviors. Needless to say, but I never scolded you.In any case.

I know when to stop.

Have you seen it?How do you know your mother?When Marshall and Lily(OG # couples) quarrel, are there any rules to return to the normal happy state before pressing the pause button to continue to solve the problem? Marcelly gave us some genius advice on love(olive theory taught me how to love alone), but the pause button may be one of their best choices.

If you think the fight is too fierce, “Can we fight again in the morning?” Let’s put it this way. Or do some relaxing things together, you can reset your own views. But the key is that whatever it is, it must be temporarily stopped.TogetherStopping should not mean not talking at all or leaving for a period of time.(This only increases anger.) This means reminding you that you care more about each other than two people quarrel.

Set common rules for your arguments

This allows the discussion group to recreate the past, but there are rules for “dedicated discussion”(if you like). It does not bypass discussions, but makes them more efficient, or worse, harmful. You may have made the mistake of arguing in the past. This is what you learned. Whether it’s a topic that is particularly sensitive to your spouse, or your unintentional statement. It is good to make mistakes. Because it lays the foundation for you. You can make hidden rules together to debate better and more effectively. Whether you interrupt or not, there should be a series of rules to help you reach a disagreement in an effective way that does not cause more harm.

To make your partner benefit from doubt

In a happy and supportive relationship, part of it always means seeing the best in your spouse. This does not mean that you will never be hurt or angry, but it does mean that if there are small things, you can’tauthenticallyTake care of them, let them go, and let them know that your troubles or anger have nothing to do with your spouse. In addition, it is necessary to separate the anxiety from the actual actions of your spouse, and do not draw conclusions based on your own fears. A healthy relationship means that both of them think they are doing everything their spouse can, and they do not doubt their love or dedication to you.

Learn the right way to apologize to your spouse

If I didn’t mention the language of love, what would love articles be? It doesn’t matter if you are wrong. If you are fighting, you must return to happy balance as soon as possible. Don’t just say “I’m sorry”. After every quarrel, try harder to make your partner feel loved and safe. If they are positive people, tell them how much you love them, or they have more services, and they will finish the housework they usually do. A bunch of flowers or their favorite home cooking can also excite youLongMarriage mode.

Remember that you two are against this issue, not you against your partner

Fighting can be terrible. Unresolved quarrel is the reason to end the relationship. Self hinders you from truly selflessly loving others. But the good news is, lovers: because we promised to get through the difficulties togetherFor better or worseThis may not be stated in your marriage oath or written on your marriage license, but when you promise someone your life, it means that your relationship becomes more important than who is right and who is wrong.

It sounds old-fashioned. You are a team player. All the arguments you can encounter should be considered from the perspective of how to solve them, not win them. Because when you find the person you like, you want to spend your life with him. When the person you love wants him to wait in the wind and rain, do dirty dishes in the sink or careless comments really matter? The important thing is to continue to be important for the rest of your life. It is the strength of your relationship and the happiness of your spouse.

What advice do you have for the discord of health in relationships? Which of the following skills will you practice with your spouse?