Four Questions To Ask Yourself Before Marriage

Marriage is a big step.(They won’t call it “unreasonable adventure”!) The life partner you choose will affect all aspects of your life: your mental health, your financial situation, how you overcome tragedy and celebrate victory, How the children will be raised, etc. The importance of these aspects in your life(not to mention many other aspects shared with your spouse) will understate the “wise choice” advice.

Whether you are single or in love, you will hear many uninvited guests’ marriage suggestions. It is difficult to screen out valuable wisdom from these suggestions, and even more difficult to see.Why?Are you going to get married or maintain a relationship? We turned to relationship experts to find out common reasons why people choose marriage, which may lead to future relationship challenges. Many of us even believe that marriage can magically solve existing problems. In many cases, getting married too early will make the problem worse. If you want to get engaged or married, please ask four questions. Then you can rest assured. Good choice.

1. Are you married because you don’t want to grow old alone?

What is more terrible is: after all, I am tired of being alone or staying alone, so I will marry a person when I come. They are still suitable for you in the end? The licensed mental health consultant, LMHC, Erin Parisi of MCAP, the licensed marriage and family therapist, Heidi McBain of LMFT, LPC and PMH-C all said that they were very concerned about this problem. Try to avoid fear hindering you from enjoying every season of life. Don’t let fear get in the way of how you see yourself. The fear of loneliness comes from the evaluation of yourself. But what do you think? Your value does not depend on who you are with(or with whom you are with). First find the person you want to be, then find someone who is happy with you. Because you have lived the best life.

Do you feel obligated to marry?

Parrish said: “First of all, as a couple announced their engagement and spread, wedding planning began, and it felt like a runaway train.” “At the beginning, it is easy to be overwhelmed by excitement and reject any negative and nagging ideas. Even if you start to doubt whether a person is making the right choice for yourself, you will feel trapped too deeply.” “If you think of making your prospective spouse sad, letting your parents down, losing your advance payment, or finding it difficult to cancel your marriage on social media, you will have enough psychological sway to insist on your uncertain marriage.

Even pre engagement obligations can take other forms. For example, your family may tell you that “your watch is ticking”, or because you have been dating for a period of time, you may think that “you owe your partner a wedding date.” Parrish said, “I think a lot of people should get married.” “He explained: “Obligations may be subtle. For example, you may regard marriage as a symbol of identity, or a point that must be checked on the imaginary timeline. Whatever, marriage is to prove something to others or even yourself. Let you choose the person you may not have a choice with.

Is your marriage due to money or financial stability?

Parrish explained: “Marriage has other advantages, such as financial and medical benefits or the ability to follow a spouse in the army, which may lead to the result that couples get married before they are ready to marry.” Of course, marriage should not only have love, but also have more reasons(although of course!): Spend time with someone who has the life, family, or experience you’ve always wanted and who can give you the happiest life. Marriage is a way of forming two kinds of life together. Security should be a welfare of marriage, but economic security cannot become freedom. Marriage can solve problems, so you can ignore the main values or personality differences and stay with people who don’t want to live like you.

4. Do you want to get married because you are worried about your age?

Parrish said: “Many people know what age they want to live in. For many people, marriage is a milestone.” “For someone close to the age you think you should get marriedexistenceMarriage may be more important than marriage.whoThey got married. “Regardless of age, your marriage mentality will also enter the marriage palace.” If you are going to get married and don’t want to wait for the “right” person, people with you will feel “good enough”. Even if you know you’ve settled down in an important area, ”

PSA: If you are reading this list and there is anything that resonates, it doesn’t matter if you want to get married. Only you can decide what is right for you. Parisi and McBain both recommend psychological counseling. In this way, there is a safe space to deal with these emotions and find the best next step for the two. On the surface, it seems that thinking about these problems is not a romantic idea, but what is more romantic because you want to be with others rather than with them?