Last week my husband and I celebrated our fifth wedding anniversary. I know, I can’t believe it. When we got married for the first time, I thought we would spend five years of luxury island vacations on the beach of a high-end resort. In fact, we camped with our dogs on weekends, only an hour away from home. We are trying to renovate ourselves every minute.

The way we chose to celebrate the anniversary was not the only result I expected. There is no doubt that my husband and I are completely different people from our wedding day. In the past five years, our political views, career paths, and even our overall life plans have changed, but we are still together, we are still in love, and we are still happy.

Marriage, first year

Our partnership is disgraceful. We are always busy with our daily work. Always kiss or greet, goodbye. Dating nights usually include lying in bed, opening Netflix on your laptop, and eating pizza. If you hear about true love in Hollywood, you may think that we are making our passion disappear, and we are moving towards the unease of marriage. I would have thought that before I got married.

Five years later, I knew better.

Here are five lessons from five years of marriage.

1. It is a lie to say that no married person has ever thought about divorce.

News flash: Marriage is difficult. I think many couples will explain when they hear this old saying: “Marriage is difficult… for others”. Even if it is not true, your depression is always longer than your mood. To some extent, marriage makes you feel like an anchor, constraining you and unable to give full play to your potential. Even if this is not the case. When all this starts to happen, a small voice in your mind starts to shout: Divorce! Divorce Divorce

This sound tends to disappear. But if they don’t-Open communication with your spouse is the only way to solve the problem. I think it is a social disgrace to admit that this has happened, which will prevent couples from talking about it publicly. Silence about marriage is the root of disaster. Your silence becomes hatred. Maybe if you tell your partner explicitly that their behavior hurts you and makes you want to leave, they will do everything possible to solve the problem. When one of you stops trying, you will have something to worry about.

2. Cherish every stage.

Honeymoon stage. Prenatal stage. The homeowner stage. Marriage will go through a series of stages. Some twists and turns are long, while others cannot be short. You don’t need to follow any specific timetable, but no matter what your plan is, you should show enough enthusiasm and love your position at every stage. If you can’t find time to live happily together in one apartment, you may not find happiness in four rooms.

Five years are coming. Don’t worry about the next step. You can find a partner who loves you every day. I love your marriage, I love you.Still alive

3. They have different hobbies.

I used it beforeThe danger of losing yourself in loveIt is easy to let them only exist as a couple until they can’t see themselves in the marriage. Maintaining self-awareness is critical to successful collaboration. You are not two people who finish each other, but two people who jointly decide the world navigation.

4. But you can also share one or two hobbies.

It’s easy to fall into daily life after a few years of marriage. Talk to your spouse in the rear. Residential secured loans, children, who is going to do what, etc. This happened in my husband’s third year or so. It was embarrassing to sit down to solve this problem, but we soon found that there were two things we really enjoyed together: fitness and mountain biking. These things are all ours now. When we go to the gym or the mountain, we always feel a little special.

5. Make support a top priority.

My husband is the most supportive person I know. Whenever I feel that I am faced with an insurmountable task, whether it is a career change or treatment, he will not question my ability, leaving me powerless. No matter how ridiculous my goal is, his first reaction is always “OK, let’s come, what shall we do?” I am in awe of him in this respect.

As I said before, you will have ups and downs. Sometimes everything changes. Sometimes you feel like you live with a stranger. Sometimes sex is my sky. Everything you expect is beautiful. Sometimes everything is good. Because you know. You are all very tired. There is a conference call in the morning. Maybe you had a big dinner. When things begin to become imperfect, that sense of support can replace trivial doubts. Romance and enthusiasm are beautiful, but for me, true love is a sense of security, longing, understanding, and ensuring that my spouse can feel the same way.

Marriage, Grade 5

I’m not a marriage expert. I’m not a relationship therapist. I just stood in front of girls and boys, wooed him, and shared dental projects with 401k. After five years of marriage, I learned countless lessons about becoming a partner, lover or even a person. I’m not perfect, but I haven’t finished my study either.